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Below you'll find a concise summary of our conversation with Veerle Dobbelaere. You can listen to the full episode via Spotify, SoundCloud & Apple Podcasts.
About Veerle Dobbelaere
We probably don't need to introduce Veerle Dobbelaere, who most of us know as an actress from many films, series and theatre productions.
But alongside her acting career, Veerle also works as a certified professional mental coach, driven by her fascination with what makes people tick. She wants to move and touch people, both as an actress and as a mental coach.
With her Breathing Space Academy and the accompanying book 'Ademruimte, hoe anders ademen je leven kan verbeteren' ('Breathing Space: how breathing differently can improve your life'), she wants to help people discover the power of breathing, among other things.
Why mental coaching?
Human behaviour is just the tip of the iceberg. Beneath the surface lie our drivers, beliefs, values and more, shaped by our culture, upbringing, society and the people we encounter throughout our lives.
Most people want to feel happy, and they behave in certain ways to try to achieve that.
Unfortunately, for many people the outcome isn't what they hoped for, and they don't end up feeling good at all. Their behaviour doesn't give them the feeling they're looking for, and that's when bringing in a mental coach can make a real difference. A mental coach helps you look beneath the surface, slow down, and pause to reflect on your thoughts and behaviours. Mental coaching can help you recognise limiting beliefs and address them through insight and a slower pace.
Mental health in the workplace
Mental coaching can also be a huge help in the workplace. Many managers struggle with handling conflict, setting boundaries and respecting others' limits. But they often also ask themselves what leadership really means to them.
In teams at work, too, there's plenty happening above and below the surface, things that can sometimes get in the way of smooth teamwork.
A mental coach can guide a team in putting difficult issues on the table and learning how to give and receive feedback.
Because feedback is a powerful tool, one we unfortunately still tend to experience as criticism. You need well-delivered feedback to grow, but that only works if you don't see feedback as an attack.
That's why coaching can help teams learn to communicate with each other, even about difficult topics, strengthening the connection between them.
Connection to the next level
How can people still find connection in these challenging times we're living in? How can we stay connected to colleagues and team members despite the distance? By continuing to look for what's possible within everything that isn't.
To do that, use the amazing tool that sets us humans apart from other species: our imagination!
When our brain imagines something, say, closing your eyes and picturing yourself walking on a sunny beach, it feels just as real as if you were actually there. That's because our brain doesn't distinguish between our projections and reality. Once you're aware of this, you can use it to create a reality you feel like experiencing right now, not to escape from reality. This can definitely give you a mental boost when things feel heavy or you've had enough of back-to-back video calls.
Living in the here and now
Our thoughts drive our behaviour, and you can learn to steer your brain. Creating your own happiness is something you can learn!
Living in the now plays an important role here. Constantly thinking about what happened yesterday or ten years ago, or what might happen tomorrow, is a total waste of your energy.
Living in the now doesn't mean denying things that are bad, it simply means living realistically in the present.
Mindfulness or meditation is a first step in a process of awareness, because you can't become aware if you don't first slow down and pause. So it's not a goal in itself, but a great tool for building awareness.
JustBite also wants to build awareness, around more nutritious food and taking better breaks. By offering more nutritious snacks and letting people experience more nutritious food. If you want to get the most out of a snack and snack mindfully, eat with full attention and engage all your senses.
Take a moment to truly experience what you're eating, what you're tasting, what you're smelling. Claim your break as a moment to disconnect and reconnect with yourself.
Breathe in, breathe out
Right now, we're all under a lot of stress, and that stress is caused by our thoughts. Our autonomic nervous system puts us into fight, flight or freeze mode based on our thoughts. But this only becomes a problem when it happens constantly, because then we're dealing with chronic stress, which throws our body completely off balance.
Learning to reprogramme your thoughts is a long-term process that takes plenty of practice, but there's an instant hack for when you're under stress: your breathing. Even if you can't get your thoughts under control, you can calm your system right away simply by changing the way you breathe. Body and mind are inseparably connected. When our mind is stressed, our body reacts, and it works the other way round too. If we breathe more calmly and lengthen our exhale, our mind will automatically start to calm down as well.
Breathing is truly a superpower that can bring instant calm to your system.
How can you keep up breathing exercises, and how do you stop your thoughts from constantly wandering off?
To start, it's a common misconception that meditating means having no thoughts at all. Our brain simply produces thoughts, that's exactly what our mind is for!
What mindfulness teaches us is to create a bit of space between your thoughts and yourself, to realise that thoughts are simply a product of our brain.
It's important to realise:
- you are not your thoughts
- you produce your thoughts, and you can be in charge of your thoughts
Conclusion
What matters isn't the moment you slow down and sit still, but the whole process of building awareness.
Think of it as a kind of mental hygiene: taking a moment each day to become more aware. It's not about trying to switch off your thoughts, but about creating enough space between your thoughts and yourself. You can choose whether or not to act on a thought, and that's a matter of practice. Even if you start with just 1 minute a day, that's better than not starting at all. That way, you can build it up gradually.
Discover Veerle's Breathing Space Academy